


Wide Open Eyes

by Tea_is_Not_Them



Series: Avatar Jon (AKA: Other Entities snag the Archivist) [9]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Archivist Sasha James, Compulsion, Found Family, Happy Ending, Jon Sims and his Eyes, Mutual Pining, Rain, This ones a lil different, Vast Avatar Jonathan Sims, Vertigo - Freeform, the vast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_is_Not_Them/pseuds/Tea_is_Not_Them
Summary: Jonathan Sims always loved the rainy night sky, it was a comfort after such a strange childhood.
Series: Avatar Jon (AKA: Other Entities snag the Archivist) [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818751
Comments: 50
Kudos: 309





	Wide Open Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This one has more angst for some reason. Sorry folks XD But also. Heres the vast! We only have five more! The End, Desolation, Flesh, Hunt, and Lonely :D
> 
> My socials 
> 
> Insta: tea_is_not_them  
> Tumblr: tea-is-not-them  
> tiktok: teaisnotthem
> 
> Fanart Link at the bottom!!

Jon’s hair was frizzing in the rainy weather. He held the umbrella above his head, holding a hand out to catch the rain in his palm before wiping the wetness off on his coat. The sky was beautiful today though, the rain clouds crowding the sky in an angry cluster colored a gloomy grey. He rather enjoyed it while walking to work, the wind and view. As he entered the doors to the Magnus Institute he gave Rosie a quick wave and tried to smooth down his hair. He would have to redo the whole bun or he would look like a q-tip all day, he huffed.

He sat his umbrella down at the base of the stairs, not willing to get any papers wet. It was stifling down there, with no windows to the outside. The only thing keeping him grounded and sane was the sound of rain hitting the walls of the institute. He looked around to see that only Sasha had come in so far. She was on top of her work as the Head Archivist, although, a little more nosy now. Nothing Jon didn't understand though. 

“Hello Sasha.”

“Hey Jon, you’re in early.” She was holding a cup of coffee that was probably more sugar at that point and a few stacked up file folders.

Jon hummed and nodded, Sasha rolled her eyes and handed him a stack of statements. A few required him to leave the building for the follow up, which he had no problem with doing. He also rather loved going out in this weather, much to the confusion of literally everyone he worked with. They didn't complain about not having to go out into this rain.

Still he was ready to dive head first into work, and he did so. Even as Martin and Tim came in for the day. 

Martin placed a mug near him, startling Jon out of his research sludge, “Thank you.” He gave a small smile before going back to statements, one hand curled around the mug. It was warm.

\-------------

Jon had found safety in the sky when he was younger, after Mr. Spider he had taken to letting his mind wander, months of being too weary to open another book, terrified that any words could be the last he read. Still there was so much he didn’t know, and his boredom always came back.

But the sky never let him down. He could stare at it for forever and imagine sitting in the clouds, watching rain from above. It was a silly childish thing that he tried not to remember, but it had helped him through childish hardships. The sky would listen to his rants about certain subjects, the rain would always feel cold against his skin, the clouds would always make him feel free and cherished.

\------

Working with Jon was strange, he was posh and stuffy in a way that was also carefree. He sat straight up, but he still smiled and joked. He struggled with talking to people yes, but they could see that he cared in the way he silently listened when they needed an ear. He and Sasha were alike in that sense. They knew he had put in a form to be head archivist, and yet when Sasha got the job he had smiled with no envy. He always seemed to have his head in the clouds, but was always logical and grounded.

Martin noticed he smelled like the moments after fresh rain. He thinks the smell is Petrichor. He didn’t look anyone in the eyes. He preferred his tea with only half a spoon of sugar, which Martin was not judging, he wasnt!

Tim grinned, “You look like a puffball.”

Jon tried in vain to smooth his hair down with one hand and gave a glare that held no heat, “Yes I know Tim. Any other astute observations?”

This did not stop Tim from shooting an elastic band at Jon from across the break room, which somehow hit him right in the glasses, effectively skewing them from his face.

“I will file an HR complaint, and I will be keeping this.” He said it in perfect deadpan that Martin had to hide his laugh behind his hand, but Tim just put his hands up.

Tim crossed his hands and indignantly said, “What if I file a complaint first?”

“If you can find any way I’ve misconducted, I’ll eat my umbrella. Don’t you have work to do?” Jon was trying not to smile, his brow raised. Tim huffed.

“Well you have conducted by not bringing Ms. Bosswoman a birthday gift.”

Jon blinked and sounded offended, “Sasha’s birthday isn’t until next month.”

Tim tried to look innocent, “Is it? Are you sure?”

“Quite. Just as sure as there are statements you should be working on.” 

Martin hummed, and Tim acted like a fainting Victorian woman, “You know you actually told us your birthday Jon.”

Jon tried to look back at his food, pointedly not answering.

“We will have to ask Ms. James to pull up your file Mr. Sims!” Tim exclaimed. The door to the break room opened and Sasha was there.

“My ears are burning. Who's talking about me?” she said it in a sing-song voice, holding a stack of files.

Martin snickered and heard the kettle boil. Usually the archive staff didn’t all take off at the same time, but today seemed to be an exception. Jon looked decidedly unimpressed and went back to eating whatever it was that smelled so good. 

“When is Jon’s birthday Sasha! He wont tell us.”

“Uh don’t drag me into this Tim.” Martin said, pouring the hot water into mugs with tea bags prepared. 

Jon looked up and gave a haughty sniff, “Martin, you are the only other assistant that I respect.”

“Ouch! I have to know so that I can embarrass you!” Tim looked up at Sasha with the same approximation of puppy dog eyes. Sasha grinned.

“September 20th.” She said, staring at Jon with a grin. He pointedly didn’t meet her eyes and rolled his. He adjusted his glasses and grabbed his now empty lunch and closed it.

“Anyway Jon will you look up on this?” Sasha handed him a file folder and he sighed and nodded.

\------------------

Jon was itching to tell someone. He wanted someone to know him, what he truly could do. It was foolish, how much he trusted his coworkers. They wouldn't turn away from him right? He knew them well enough. Still there was fear hiding under his resolve, that sick growing fear about being thought of as Other, as a monster. He didn't want to be treated different but hiding such a fundamental part of him seemed like a plan for disaster.

Who would he tell though? Sasha might want his statement, and while that's not terrible, he didn’t care much to make one. Tim might take it badly, he knew Tim had some kind of underlying trauma with the supernatural. Though who in the Magnus Institute didn't?

Martin. Martin was his friend, and Jon found that if anyone knew about whatever it was that was going on with him, he wanted it to be Martin.

He would tell Martin, hopefully it went alright. 

\---------

Martin looked up. Sasha and Tim had gone out to lunch and Jon was sitting at his desk going through files. Martin looked back down at his statement and then he heard someone clearing their throat. Jon was in front of his desk, and Martin smiled. He looked stressed, maybe even anxious.

“Yes Jon? Are you alright?”

Jon let out a breath, “Uh yes. I just. Well.” He huffed, “Sorry. Let me start over. I want to tell you something, but I think it would be better to show you. Or you wouldn’t believe me.”

His heart was beating so fast. What was Jon talking about? “Ok.”

Jon moved his glasses and placed them on the table, “Look into my eyes.”

“Alright?” He felt a little silly, but this was the first time he would ever make actual eye contact with Jon. he supposed it was a trust thing?

Looking into Jon’s eyes was like looking into the sky. The longer he looked the less weight he felt, as if he was flying, or falling peacefully. It was like he was in the clouds, staring down as it rained. He could feel himself falling, but he knew he was sitting down. The peace came over him, being so small. He felt like nothingness, as if he was unable to catch himself as wind flew by. He was flying through a rainy night sky.

Then Jon blinked, and Martin was back in the room. He let out a large confused breath. He felt lightheaded. 

“Are you alright? I shouldn't have done that I'm so sorry.” Jon was next to him, his hands on Martin's shoulders. He looked frantically worried, his glasses were back on.Martin’s heart was beating fast but that could be from either the experience or seeing Jon so worried about him.

Martin takes a second to breath, “Uh. Yeah. Jon what was that?”

\-----------

Jon had been hiding statements. There were a few files in his desk that Sasha vaguely remembers though she didn’t remember them enough to know when he got them. Jon and Martin and Tim were out for lunch, she stayed behind because something weird was going on. She had to know, her curiosity was not going to be satiated until she did.

She had really felt bad about going through her assistants desks, but when she got to Jon, she found something that truly made the paranoia seem worth it. After the Jane Prentiss thing she wanted to be cautious after all, but there was something weird going on around the archives.

The statements all had some kind of weirdly existential names, something about being very small, or being inconsequential. Sasha grabbed the stack and moved to her desk, she had to skim through a few before the three came back for lunch, though that wouldn’t be for another 45 minutes. There was no way she was going to let them know she had gone through their desks.

Also with Jon hiding something that seemed so important, she rather didn’t want to find out what he would do if he knew that she knew.

A few were about a man with a lightning scar named Michael Crew, some about a man named Simon Fairchild. She recognized Fairchild. He was a sponsor of the institute, she knew. Rich family by the sounds of it, been funding the place for ages. She skimmed a few more, most about fear of the sky, or being small, all things she was too tired to conceptualize at the moment. All of it was fairly normal, there were names that stuck out yeah, but most were just of supernatural experiences and there were a few about a leitner. 

Then she scoured the bottom of the stack. His name was in exactly three of the statements. Someone made a statement about Jon, three people had found something weird enough about Jon to report as an incident with the unknown. The more she looked the more she found, about a man they met in the rain, matching Jon’s exact description. Some were not very descriptive but she knew they were about him, the more she read the more she connected in her mind.

“Statement of Clair Mona, regarding a man in the rain.”

“Statement of David Reed regarding an encounter at the cafe.”

“Statement of Terrence Foster, regarding Jonathan Sims, a man with clouds in his eyes.”

“Statement of Asher Fink, regarding a shared umbrella.”

There had to be at least twenty about him. She took all of them out of the stack and went to replace the others. She had some research to do. Sasha was going to find out what was going on.

\-------

Jon lit the cigarette, he was going to quit but he had started again out of stress. He waited in the rain, smoking by his bus station until someone called his name. 

“Tim? Good Lord man are you alright?” Jon covered the soaked man with the umbrella, snuffing out his cigarette and throwing it in the trashcan next to him. 

Tim was breathing heavy, “Yeah. Sorry I missed my train and ran to this one. Didn’t know you were here honestly.”

“Well lucky for you. Here, take the umbrella.”

“Wait Jon I couldn’t-”

Jon rolled his eyes and pushed his glasses up before placing the umbrella in Tim's hands. He was already getting soaked through, “Don’t worry about me Tim. I’ll be fine. Just give it back tomorrow.”

And he was off, walking through the rain, his coat not doing anything but making him heavier as water collected. Jon let the rain plaster hair to his forehead, letting out a deep breath and breathing in the heavy and comforting feeling of being so very small. 

\------------

“Statement of Maxwell Darnely, regarding Jonathan Sims.”

Sasha had made sure that no more of these kinds of statements made it to Jon’s desk. She wanted to trust him, but he was hiding something. The more she read though the more of an idea she had on what he could do.

“Looking into his eyes was like flying. I don’t know when he stopped speaking, but I felt it when his mood shifted. I felt so small, meaningless. The clouds in his eyes seemed to grow angrier and more dark and then he blinked. I looked away, feeling like I had just hit the ground at terminal velocity.”

Jon didn’t seem to notice the missing files, even if she had taken a good lot of them. Still she was cautious. 

“His glare makes you feel insignificant, as if you are nothing. Like you were unimportant to him and everyone in the world.”

Jon had not once glared at anyone in the archives, at least, not with any real anger. Now that she thinks about it, he doesn't even make eye contact with anyone. 

She had a plan, and she hoped it didn’t end up with her at the end of something supernatural.

\--------------

“Oh my god you are so light!” Tim crowed, holding Jon up like one of those long cat memes. It was hilarious enough of a comparison that Martin snickered. “Martin, take a picture!”

Jon wriggled in Tim’s hold, but finally just settled for this treatment, “I hope you get fired.”

Martin did take a picture, much to the chagrin of Jon, and the pure joy of Tim. Tim started acting like Jon was a weight set, lifting him up and down. How had he ended up being picked up again? Oh yeah he almost fell trying to grab something from a shelf. He was thankful they didn’t let him fall, but this was a steep price to pay for the safety of his head and what little dignity he could have had while passed out. 

“Martin come here.” Tim goaded, and Martin looked curiously before figuring out what Tim was trying to do.

“No I am not going to take him from you!” Martin laughed. Jon swung his legs a little, it kind of felt like flying, so maybe he didn’t hate it. Still it was unprofessional! He would say he’d file HR but they all knew that he wouldn’t. Also the HR department really was terrible there. That must say something about Elias as a boss, and the Magnus Institute as a workplace.

Tim pouted, “You don’t want to carry him? I am so sorry Jon what a rude man.”

Jon rolled his eyes, “I bet Martin would be better at carrying people.” He meant it to be a jab at Tim, because being held up by the armpits was starting to get uncomfortable, but he realized too late after the words got away that it could sound very much favoring Martin. He wouldn’t take it back though. 

“Wow Jon, years of research together and you insult me like this.” 

He was still holding Jon up and Jon wondered how in the world he was still carrying him. He was light yes, but still holding a whole man up should strain him at least a little.

“Do you actually want down though?” Tim asked surprisingly earnestly. 

Jon blinked, “Uh. It’s alright, but you probably should.”

When Jon was back on the ground he cleared his throat and gave a small smile. Tim looked a bit like he was on the edge of apologizing about it and Jon held a hand up.

“It's alright Tim. If I had really wanted you to let go I’d have kicked you.” It was said so matter of fact that it caused both Tim and Martin to laugh. Jon gave a smile, before straightening up.

That was the moment Sasha came in, “Jon can we talk?”

“OOoh you're in trouble with the boss.” Tim joked, before noticing how serious Sasha looked. Martin’s brow creased. Something was wrong.

“Uh Of course. I assume your office?” Jon followed and that left the break room quiet. 

Martin looked a bit worried, “What do you think that was about?” he started making tea, it was something to do with his hands. Sasha's face had been stressfully serious, and the way she was marching as if to her death was making them both feel all sorts of strange. 

“I.. Have no clue.” 

\--------------

“Jon have you been hiding statements from me?”

There was a strange buzzing that filled Jon, his mouth seemed to move on its own, “Yes.”

He blinked a few times and looked at her before something in his mind clicked. Sasha didn’t like that face, not when it was directed at her. He was thinking of something. So before Jon could say anything she interrupted with her questions.

“Why?”

“I was scared. There is a lot about me that I don't even know, and I want to know what happened to make me like this. I also didn’t want you all to know what I could do. There are so many things I could do. A vast and terrifying sea of questions I have that I want answered. I hid myself so that you and Tim wouldn't think I was a monster.” Jon clapped a hand over his mouth before taking off his glasses. Sasha tensed, but noticed he was only scrubbing his face and eyes and then putting them back on. 

Something was wrong with his sentence, “Me and Tim? What about Martin?”

“He already knows.”

“How?”

Jon took a deep breath, “ I showed him.” he clenched his teeth, “whatever you are doing really hurts.” 

Sasha crossed her arms and leaned on the table. Jon thinks her eyes are glowing but she isn’t meeting his gaze, he felt awful thinking of using anything like that on her but his head was screaming, “I don’t care. Are you intending to hurt anyone?”

Jon’s face went blank as he again answered, “No. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I mean, I do, but I don’t. It’s complicated.”

He shook his head. Sasha thought about the answers, “What are your plans?”

“To work. To keep everything the way it is and to keep my friends safe.” he grit his teeth. He didn’t want to be angry at Sasha but he was finding it hard to think about anything but how much the compulsions hurt. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to be controlled. 

“Stop!” Sasha felt a little woozy as he glared. The room felt strangely tense, like it was about to rain. Jon inhaled sharply and turned his eyes downward, his hands clasped over his ears as if that would stave off the pain, “Stop Sasha.”

Sasha regained her sense of balance and then the guilt rushed to her. Jon looked so angry and scared. She was angry and scared too though. Still hurting someone she is, was at least, friends with for curiosity and mistrust was not alright. Before she could say anything Jon stood up and turned and left, still wincing.

\------

Jon walked fast to the door of the archives. He heard Sasha and Martin call for him. Tim might have as well, but he was too confused and angry and so many things that he was not able to think about anyone else at the moment. It was rainy again that day. He was thankful for it, because the last few days had actually been sunny enough that people forewent the huge jackets. Jon clutched his coat close like a life line. Th pain was slowly going away thankfully. 

He was heading somewhere anywhere, glaring at anyone who dared try and talk to him. Honestly, who tried to talk to a stranger in the rain? He scoffed and found somewhere he could sit away from everything and watch the clouds.

It was an abandoned building with a balcony. There was coverage enough that Jon could let his legs get wet but still not freeze to death. Not like that was an issue to him, but it was a nice spot to stop and think over the last thirty minutes.

\------

“What happened?” Tim asked Sasha, who was looking downtrodden. Jon had looked so disgruntled when he speed walked through the archives and left. What had happened in that office that sent both of them into these weird moods? 

Martin handed her a cup of tea, it had finished steeping right as the door to her office opened. 

“I- He. There are statements about him. He was hiding them, and I asked about them and something weird was happening and he couldn’t lie.” Sasha took a breath, trying to hide all emotions, “ I think it was hurting him.”

Sasha took a sip of her tea and turned, “Martin you knew?”

Martin froze and looked into his mug, “he showed me a few things he could do. He was scared that he was to hurt us. Or that we would see him as a monster.”

It was quiet in the archives. The door to the archives opened to see Elias Bouchard.

\-----------

When he came back. The three of them were all talking, sitting around a desk. When the door closed behind him, he could see them turn to look at him. He walked down, trying not to look at any of them. He was still a bit wet from the rain.

“Hello.” Was all he said.

Jon and Sasha made up, both apologizing. Tim was informed of the whole issue, and Martin stayed quiet and drank his tea.

\--------

“Heads up cloud boy!” Sasha yelled, before slingshotting the hairband at him. Martin snickered, and Jon caught it, albeit a bit messy of a catch.

Jon huffed, but thanked her for the elastic. His hair had frizzed and broke the other one. Sasha and him both wore the same kind of hair ties, which they were both thankful for at different times in archive history. He still gave her a unimpressed look as she laughed. His hair was a mess.

“Hey Jon do you think your tears are like rain?” Tim wondered from his seat, where he was eating a very unhealthy lunch of cup noodles. Jon could not bear to think about them, having lived off of them in college.

“That is such a stupid question…” Jon paused before sounding put upon, “Yes it’s like rain.”

Tim grinned, “So when you cry you cry a lot?”

“You’re about to find out.” Jon snarked back, pulling his hair tight into place for a bun. 

Martin laughed, he was eating leftover from takeout. 

“Are we all still on for movie night?” Sasha asked. Jon looked up from what he was revising and looked expectantly at Tim. Martin blinked and listened for the answer. 

“Yep! Jon is making food.” 

Jon groaned. He should have never let these horrible people know he cooked, “Yes I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Art by Art Harridan! (Again please show her Art the love it deserves!)
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CCwUmyHlOZL/?igshid=t062t5wgso98


End file.
